Talking about money should be the norm

11/02/2016


We live in strange world where people will share the most intimate details of their personal lives on the internet, but if you dare to ask about their financial lives, the room grows quiet and the things get awkward.

Is our resistance to talk about money the reason so many of us are in debt?  Probably.

Like many of you, I never had the "talk" about money. In fact my mother struggled with every"talk" we had. And somehow that taught me that talking about personal finances was like being being naked in front of someone for the first time. I didn't want to go through that.

When I got a job in the financial industry, I quickly learned that money equaled power - the power to choose. And as women, I realise that we’re still adjusting to the notion that we deserve to own that power because we have a history of trauma when it comes to money and power, and that this history has resulted in a pervasive fear of money and power that still exists in us today.

Low confidence and fear can translate into avoidance that results in not taking charge of one’s financial future.”

I realise that some people suffer from Chrometophobia: the fear generated from certain credit and finance-related scenarios.  This is an actual phobia defined by the American Medical Association.

But most of us are so deeply ashamed of our spending habits and past mistakes, we go to any lengths to keep up appearances and avoid engaging the numbers.  Like any other dis-ease, hiding the truth from yourself and your loved ones can have devastating consequences.  It doesn’t have to be this way.

I don't suggest talking to everyone in your life about the details of your finances, but I definitely recommend selecting a few trusted people from your inner circle to be transparent with.  These sacred conversations can be healing for all involved.  We’re not supposed to figure it all out by ourselves.

The critical first step to having healthier conversations about money is to frame the dialogue in a way that encourages open discussion especially with your loved ones..

I understand that many of us avoid conversations about money because we don't want to deal with the difficult emotions these conversations bring up. But I had to get to the core of my financial fears, and shift the things that block me in order to opened to the idea of acquiring wealth, power and financial freedom.

I cringe when I look at some of the situations I stayed in and choices I made because I was afraid to ask the simple questions that could have illuminated my issues and helped me make better decisions.

And once I opened up that space and let go of the fears I held about money, the practical information became truly applicable rather than another task on the overwhelming “to do” list.

This is why I've learned to be open about money with my extended social and professional circle. I am that person who will ask you if you are investing and why if you are not. Because I have learned that talking about money should be the norm!

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