Trying to be socially acceptable is a waste of time, energy, and money

I still remember how disappointed I was when I received my first payslip at age 22. I couldn't believe that I was only worth R 3200. I realised then that all this payslip was giving me is the "power" to get into debt because I couldn't afford the things I wanted in cash. I did play into this game for a little while and then I got tired. So I got rid of all my debt. I knew that if you are not emotionally stable,  debt is a trap. So I did my best to stay away from it.

In the last couple of years I've watched as many women get trapped by unnecessary financial "obligations". And because of these obligations, they keep holding on to soul crushing jobs and have accepted this is their fate. They are just going through the emotions, seemingly with little purpose other than to get through the day.

My heart bleeds for them.

I can't imagine experiencing this helpless with no option to switch my life to what I want it to be. I think you can sort of survive with this kind of mental attitude when you are younger because your emotions are already on a rollercoaster. But when you are older, you are too conscious of your feelings. You look at your life and are shocked at how your are far from yourself. You can see yourself... your are desperate to connect to your truest form … but you’re terrified at the thought of ruining everything you’ve built so far, even if it doesn't work for you anymore. In fact, nothing feels right anymore. But your job can't be merely a means to maintain a lifestyle you no longer identify with or to keep up with everyone’s expectations.

If you've lost touch with yourself, read the signs below to help you figure out your feelings:
  • Your top priority is making loads of money
  • You let others dictate who you are and who you ‘should’ be
  • You always follow trends even if they don’t make sense to you
  • You reveal only what makes you look good
  • You ignore your gut feelings and intuition
  • You’re scared to be vulnerable and express your true feelings, thoughts, or values (which may be unpopular)
  • You make decisions based on how much attention, fame, money or acceptance you’ll receive rather than your genuine beliefs, values, or vision
“Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
― Steve Jobs
This is the reason why I decided to call the blog, The Disruptors. I know a great deal of people keep trying to pigeonhole this blog into their own ideas. But this Steve Jobs quote sums up it up best: "stay hungry, stay foolish." Like Jobs, I don't believing in settling, feeling suffocated and being weighed down by some kind of mysterious force. I know that I have the power to choose. I also believe in God and that I can' work with Him to work out His good plans for my life. Therefore, I do not have to settle.

What scares me is the familiar because it becomes too comfortable and starts feeling like it is the only way life should be. That's the reason why I took some time from blogging. I love learning about money but I also felt that I wasn't absorbing anything new. So I decided to take a break and process the information that I've learned and how it fits into what I want to achieve with this blog. 
I know it's risky not to blog as you lose your audience. But honestly, I'm doing this on my own terms. If it doesn't work for me then why am I doing it? 

I've always enjoyed a bit of risk in my life. It's what keeps me alive and looking forward to the future. That's probably the reason I became interested in investing when I was younger. I saw investing as a way to solve a lot of my future financial problems. I was told it was risky, but I dived in anyways. I'm grateful I learned to invest early but I'm even more appreciative I possess the emotional intelligence to know that money is just a tool. If you are sensible, it can serve you really well. But if you can't see through the futile and unfulfilling pursuits of society, you will end up feeling trapped. Trying to be socially acceptable is a waste of time, energy, and money. And when you’ve exhausted your personal resources, it’s become all too easy to borrow or outsource. Let that sink in. 

Remember this, you only live once, so make it count! This is NOT at all cliched. It's the truth. The older you get the more you realise how precious life is. So don't settle, always push yourself and be ready to try new things. And more than anything DON'T be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. You don't need to know exactly what's going to happen and how it's going to happen. So long as you're taking chances and learning about yourself, you are going to be alright. You can find peace, acceptance, wholeness and your true purpose in life.

You don’t have to feel trapped in a life you don't want. Make changes, even if those changes are small and get into a life that feels just right for you.

As I've personally learned, the most loving thing you can do for yourself as a woman is to disrupt your own flow of how you do things because that's the only way to remain content and to be at peace with yourself. If you feel overwhelmed by the pressure of it all, please seek help. 

*Hugs* to anyone who needs one.

P.S. If you never read Steve Jobs book please do yourself a favour and buy it, make time and read it. If you have read it and still have it, it's time to revisit it again. Reconnect with your soul.