Afraid to spend? It's okay to enjoy your money

Here is a confession: I struggle to spend money on things that make me happy. I think this "miser" mentality in me was planted when I was a child. I've repeatedly shared here how my single mom struggled to take care of us.

As a teenager, she used to share with me how all we ate was soft porridge or sometimes we didn't even have any food. I honestly don't remember that period of our lives but she does and her stories have stayed with me, possibly making me this cheap skate that I am today. It's one of those things I need to work on consistently.

In The 9 Steps To Financial Freedom, author Suze Orman says our current money personality is very heavily influenced by our childhood upbringing and our parents’ attitudes towards money. If, for example, you grew up in a low-income household watching your parents struggle every day to make ends meet, you may achieve financial success in your adult years but feel uncomfortable spending money on yourself out of guilt of being frivolous or excessive.

That hit home that's why I also blog about money beliefs. They are so telling of our struggles.

But as much as I'm like everyone else and fear being poor, I finally understand why I don't like spending on myself.

The REAL reason why I don't like spending on myself is because I don't believe I'm worth it! 

Ouch! I clearly don't believe L'Oreal when they say "I'm worth"

Yep I know, that really sucks but that's the truth. 

Muttering to self: "the truth shall set you free."

RELATED: 10 Financial Lessons I've learned from women I've interviewed in 2017

Don't get me wrong, I like this side of me a bit because that means I think through every financial decision I make but sometimes I overthink my purchasing decisions making me a "late bloomer" so to speak. I tend to get material things after everyone has had them. Nothing wrong with that. But here is the problem... in the process, I question why I deserve something and wonder if I I should just do it myself, which most times I don't because even doing it myself means I have to spend on myself. 

This is tiring... I don't know if it's old age or what, but I find decision making sometimes seriously exhausting. 

Anybody know what I'm talking about?  

When Wells Fargo asked affluent Americans about what they regretted most about their finances, 15 percent said “not having enjoyed their money more”.

That's wild! You'd think that rich people are always spending but nope, here they are struggling to spend their money like most of us. 

So, I've been working on myself. I need to find a balance, and it doesn't' have to be a perfect balance,  between having an outrageously expensive meal to celebrate payday while making sure I'm not left eating baked beans for the rest of the month.

This is hard for so many of us. We want to save and invest for the future but we don't know when to  spend a little on ourselves and enjoy life today. 

So where do we go from here?  If you are like me, you need to silence the guilt inside. Silence the shame. Honestly that's the reason why you are not spending on yourself. Guilt and shame are the root of it all. 

Look, I am NOT advocating emptying your savings account so you can buy the sleek Merc you've been eyeing. (That has a place and time.)

And this is not where I suggest you cash out your RA so you can pursue your dream to travel. (Great dream but now how are you going to make money to live while you are travelling or when you get tired of traveling?)

That's not what I'm saying. 

What I am suggesting is if you have set up your financial cushion you are allowed to relax that grip you have on your money and spend some on yourself and enjoy life. 

Do you struggle to spend money on things that make you a better person?